Challenge your beliefs
Consider two ladies who have just turned 70. One of these ladies thinks her life is approaching its twilight and that her best years are behind her. The other lady, however, is very excited about all the things she still wants to do. How do we explain such a massive difference in attitude? It’s simply down to contrasting beliefs. The way that we view our world and ourselves is moulded by our beliefs.
What are beliefs?
Our beliefs are our ideas and observations of the world based on our life experiences. The problem is that most of us are intellectually lazy and many of our beliefs are mere generalisations, or are based on the opinions of other people. Once we adopt a belief, it usually sticks, and we hold on to our beliefs as if they’re certainties. And because we’re so convinced we’re right, we never challenge them. As a result, many of us cling to negative beliefs that prevent us from moving in a positive direction.
Make your beliefs empowering, not limiting:
Our beliefs about who we are and who we can be heavily influence who we will be, so if we wish to create positive changes, we need to challenge our beliefs, especially those that are working against us. For example, if we decide that something is beyond our reach, we have built a barrier. Consider the example of the two seventy-year-old ladies: one thought she was too old, the other didn’t. To get the most from your life, you need to swap your disabling beliefs for enabling beliefs.
For one week, make a pledge to stop criticising yourself. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself.
Don’t be defined by your past:
Certain things that happened in the past might not have ended well for you but be careful that they do not influence your life forever. As the years pass by, your life memories get oversimplified, and many negative memories get amplified by replaying them many times over. Try to catch yourself doing this. Learn from past experiences, but do not allow yourself to be defined by them. Your life is in the now and the future, not in the past.
Question your beliefs:
Don’t let your objectivity become muddled by stereotyping or by inflexible and dogmatic belief. A belief that is correct is a belief that can be substantiated with accurate data, not hearsay or random anecdotes. Unfortunately, though, most of us use poor generalisations as a proxy for hard facts; for example:
‘All politicians are useless.’
‘Businesses don’t care about anything except making money.’
‘I don’t see myself running my own business.’
‘I don’t think I’d be any good as a manager.’
We sometimes think we’re right when we’re actually wrong, so from time to time we have to be willing to challenge our opinions in order to reveal our blind spots. This isn’t easy because questioning our beliefs sometimes involves facing our anxieties and insecurities, or simply admitting we’re wrong. Don’t be deterred by this because the more we learn about ourselves and the world around us, the easier it will be to move forward.
Write down some of your most stubborn beliefs, especially the negative and less helpful ones – beliefs like ‘I’m a poor parent’, ‘I’m usually incompetent’, ‘My memory is terrible’ and ‘I’m hopeless at XYZ’. Then challenge each belief for truth and credibility.
Follow this thought process as you challenge each belief:
Is the belief true, false, or somewhere in the middle?
What evidence is available? What feedback have I had from a range of different people?
Do I need to modify this belief?
What are the implications of the belief or modified belief being true?
This method of disputing your beliefs takes practice but is well worth doing. When challenging your beliefs in this way, you must also be realistic. For example, if you really are incompetent at a particular thing, there is no point in trying to kid yourself that you’re not. In these situations, you need to decide how important your incompetence is. If it’s not that important, then try to work around it or if it’s really important then make a plan to become more competent. If a belief isn’t useful, you need to train yourself to let it go, change it or just reduce its intensity.
Remember… To initiate a transformation in your life you must begin by challenging your beliefs. Abandon false beliefs that work against you and replace them with realistic and empowering beliefs that help you get where you want to be.
